After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize