the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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