shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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