Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I CAN MOONWALK!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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