so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
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Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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