haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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