is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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