I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize