I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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