Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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