Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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