I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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