On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Help. Why am I so naked?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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