i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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