I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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