ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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