We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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