Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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