when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize