At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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