I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So much Jack, so little girl.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize