I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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