i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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