I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
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I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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