her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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