I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
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Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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