yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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