No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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