i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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