R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
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Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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