Nicole vs. Life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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