I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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