Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
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Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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