I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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