So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize