just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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