If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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