the new term for farting is butt boxing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize