Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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