haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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