you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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