just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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