I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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