just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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