"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize