hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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