Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize