so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize