I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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