and you said cock pushups were impossible
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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